I am starting the LEAP Dialogues series, hoping to put forth some dialogues about Human Potential. We (Humans) are such fascinating subjects that two people can have diagonally opposite views, and in fact, both can be right based on their own context. Many times judging something in absolute terms is not very helpful. I have found that to broaden my perspective, I need to understand where someone is coming from and then think about the potential of that idea or view.
When I am in a conference, and someone on stage would say something, in my earlier days, I would judge it and pass a comment comparing it to what we do and how we were so much better. Over time, I learnt to listen, and if I listened carefully enough, invariably, it would spark a dialogue. So now, I try my best to default to a reaction, “Umm, that’s interesting – we don’t do that – is there potential to explore doing some version of this? Or – Why would they want to do this, what might be their need?”
It’s all to do with habits and the good part is you can change your habits. Here’s how: Rewire and Reprogram through Pattern Interrupt.
Quick Gun Murugan, the Indian cowboy who shoots first and aims later, has become our style icon in many discussions – quick to rebut and critique just about everything, and if the proposer of the idea is slightly mild mannered even God can’t save the idea. I mean, if something is really bad and needs to be thrashed that’s ok but do we give people a fair chance, do we give ideas a fair chance by listening carefully, by asking questions, by discussing impact and then concluding based on merit.
Deep Listening…
I feel, in our overcrowded head-space (too much is going on in the head with gadgets, social media and stress) the patience – to listen deeply, question, evaluate and conclude has significantly reduced. What this has done is that, we think at a surface level, conclude too quickly and because we have concluded a certain way, we then argue endlessly to support that point of view.
Do you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? Find out here: Mindset Matters for a Happier Life.
His Masters Voice (HMV) is a famous trademark in the recording industry – which has a famous logo of a Terrier Dog called Nipper listening to a gramophone, why am I talking about that? Try to see the connection. I feel there is a new unacknowledged manager disease “The need to keep hearing ‘my’ own voice”. And how this plays out is that, we go on and on about our view, our thought, our suggestion, our advice, our recommendation and simply kill so many other possibilities that can come from people around us. Many people who come to us – want to be heard and sometimes that’s all they want.
My internal dialogue concludes this edition of LEAP Dialogues with this “Sometimes just sometimes try listening deeply to: what people are saying to you, what they are not saying & yet saying, and what they really want from you. Can you give that space to people who are around you?”
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