How do you feel when you have to wait for a cab, impatient? Wait for the doctor though you took an appointment, frustrated? Wait for your turn at the billing counter of the grocery store, distracted? Wait for your boss to notice you and appreciate your efforts, irritable and undervalued? Wait for a raise to buy that new mobile/new car, impatient? When “waiting” is something you detest, why then, Is Your Happiness in the Waiting Room?
Let’s try this again.
Close your eyes and think of “happiness.” What comes to your mind when you listen to the word “happiness?” High-paying job, promotion, a lavish vacation, loving partner, children, better lifestyle…? The list is infinite because there is no end to our “wants.” If one wish comes true, we have the next one ready as a milestone to achieve happiness. Again, Is Your Happiness in the Waiting Room forever?
And what if you cannot achieve the milestones you’ve set for yourself? Are you destined to be unhappy? All too often, we associate happiness with possessions and achievements. While it is great to be a go-getter and fulfill your dreams, you will drift farther away from happiness if you associate it with tangibles.
We are all so caught up in our pursuit of success in professional lives that we have muddled up the very concept of happiness. No wonder the urban professional finds happiness “elusive,” always out of grasp!
You’re not alone, and I’ve been there too. But, I decided to do something about that constant void, the constant feeling of “something is missing,” and I now have the answers. The journey has been arduous but fulfilling, with long-winding but insightful paths answering some very difficult questions.
If you want happiness to be a forever state of wellbeing and not an occasional guest, time to bust some myths.
Myth #1: “Happiness and Pleasure are Synonymous.”
We, confusing that momentary, fleeting feeling of joy dependent on an external source, with happiness, is the root cause of our unhappiness.
What we experience when we eat our favorite meal, buy a fancy mobile, or watch a movie is pleasure, not happiness. Once the meal is over, the feeling is gone. You get that mobile, and your excitement fades out. Similarly, when the movie is over, emotions exit.
Pleasure is a transitory feeling, always dependent on an external source. Happiness is an inside job, not reliant on someone or something.
Myth #2: More money = More happiness
Money is essential, period. But never connect more money with more happiness. It doesn’t work that way. There is nothing more futile than seeking happiness in a lavish lifestyle.
Myth #3: I need to control all events in my life.
Just when you think you have it all figured and planned, life happens, and your plans go haywire. More stress, anxiety, frustration, and depression?
Let Go and release the stress! What happens to you is not in your hands. But you react and respond is something within your reach. Letting go doesn’t mean you are not strong enough to stick to your plans. It just means you are wise enough to adapt to life as it flows. It translates into more freedom, peace, and lasting happiness.
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The Time to be Happy is NOW! Is this science-backed?
- This personal productivity article on Harvard Business Review explores happiness in-depth. It concludes that our happiness is not in that new car or the promotion, but in small routine efforts.
- Research unravels that human beings spend 47% of their wakeful time ruminating on the past or latching onto worries about the future when living in the moment is one of the strongest predictors of happiness.
Don’t enter the infinite loop of “I will be happy when _____,” else, you will surely end up with Your Happiness in the Waiting Room!
You waited for the tooth fairy as a toddler. Growing up as a child, you waited for Santa Claus. Now, as an adult, it’s time to stop the waiting game. You’ve heard it before. Happiness is neither destination to be reached nor a goal to be achieved.
Your happiness starts with You, is within You. It lies in the moments of Now, not the past, nor the future.
If you want to make happiness your default setting, access my curated premium membership site (free when you buy Happiness Habits). Together we can make happiness a deliberate, intentional, daily habit.