Do you experience a sense of dissatisfaction and discontent with your career, relationships, and life in general? Do you find yourself in the midst of an existential crisis, questioning life and its purpose? Are you also plagued with self-doubt, questioning all your decisions and abilities? If your answers are mostly yes, you are in your 40s and experiencing declining happiness; you are not alone. You are right now in the trough of the U-shaped happiness curve and are not the only one experiencing it. The midlife happiness dip is universal, and people all over the globe are generally less happy in midlife.
Investigating the midlife happiness dip
Research shows midlife happiness dip is REAL! David Blanchflower, an economics professor at Dartmouth College, researched the happiness curve. Data from over 500,000 individuals across 132 countries suggested a midlife happiness dip irrespective of life expectancy, income, employment, or geography.
The truth is, by the time you are in your 40s, you have accomplished a lot, reached many milestones, and are leading a comfortable life. Yet the dip in happiness? One reason to explain this is the human tendency to attach happiness to material goals. We think we will be happier when we achieve a specific goal. Sure, ambitions, goals, and targets are good, right? Once you achieve that goal, you feel very happy. But here comes the twist. That happiness does not last because your ambitions have already moved the goalposts for you. And the vicious cycle continues, chasing goal after goal until you finally realize your chase never ends!
Another way to look at it is that you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, or unforeseen things happen, and life turns out very different from what you envisioned. Add to it the constant comparison with people in your circle who have a seemingly ideal life, and you have the perfect recipe for midlife misery.
If you’ve been bitten by the comparison bug, this blog is just for you: Stop Comparing, Start Living!
By the time you reach your 40s, you are disillusioned with life. You begin questioning life and its purpose, wondering why happiness is elusive, life stressful, and proper sleep a luxury!
Ride through the trough, for the curve is set to go upward again!
Don’t be harsh on yourself. 40s is really the sandwich age, a period when you may be doing the best in terms of career and relations, yet it doesn’t seem enough. You are the caregiver and provider, playing a central role in the lives of the younger and older generations. It’s a time of too many roles to play, with practically no “me time,” a time that is not ripe for retirement nor young enough to experiment, a time to balance growth and decline.
Middle age is not a downward pit of despair all the way. It is, in fact, a pivotal period that forces us into reflection and deep inner work. And as we proceed through our midlife, the truth of mortality sets in, leading to an inevitable recalibration and readjustment of life expectations.
Yes, the twilight of youth heralds the beginning of a new phase where our priorities shift. We have the wisdom and enhanced cognitive abilities to handle life better. With a more nuanced view of life and a shift in expectations, we compare less and value what we have more. Happiness and contentment come easy.
Maneuvering the midlife happiness dip…
“Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.” – Victor Hugo.
You cannot stop the onward march of life, reverse aging, or your life decisions. But what you can do is persevere, for every sunset assures us of a sunrise.
Here are some things you can do to ride out the midlife happiness dip:
- Prioritize your health and wellbeing
- Accept and acknowledge that you are at the bottom of the curve but that things can only go upward from here.
- Silence that inner critic and only compare yourself to yourself.
- Deepen friendships because good friends are happiness boosters.
- Make gratitude a routine because happy people are thankful and focus on what they have.
- Live in the present moment, don’t regret the past or fret about the future.
Finally, it’s just a phase. Constantly remind yourself that this too will pass.
The crux of the matter is…
The midlife happiness dip is inevitable. But if you are conscious about prioritizing self-care and your health, despite busy schedules, and have a healthy sleep routine, your midlife can be a phase you enjoy rather than dread.
It’s here that I, as your happiness coach, want to emphasize the power of habits. If you already have habits that take care of your mind, body, and soul, you are in a better place to explore new possibilities than sweat the small stuff. A good sleep and morning routine, healthy eating, exercise and movement for the body, decluttered spaces, and the ability to prioritize and balance work and family go a long way in smoothening the midlife happiness dip. Discipline with habits is what will bring lasting happiness. When you buy Happiness Habits, you get access to my premium membership site with loads of actionable resources that will help you on your happiness quest.